shwag lights

swag
a. An ornamental drapery or curtain draped in a curve between two points.
b. A carving or plaster molding of such an ornament.
c. Any corporate/branded merchandise given out for free in order to promote the company/brand

shwag   
A term originally referring to lousy pot, which has also come to describe anything else lame or inherently sucky.

The house we bought last spring was built in 1983, and still had all of the original light fixtures, except for one that was broken when we first moved in as renters and replaced right away.  The dominate style of light fixtures in 1983, apparently, was that they hung from a chain.  Not straight down from a chain, but looped from the wall to a ceiling hook, so that each had a "decorative" loop between the wall and the lamp.  We had one of these in the dining room, one in the little extra office room, one in the entry, and one in each bathroom that featured not one but two chain/light drops each.  We hated them.  And one by one, they stopped working, so not only were they ugly, they completely non-functional.  We'd walk around saying, "As soon as this is our house, we're replacing those!"  It took us a bit over 6 months, but I'm proud to say that they are all gone.

First, we replaced the bathroom lights with basic, inexpensive bar fixtures.  Then we found a good lighting store in town where an old friend of Lisa's worked, and found a nice bright fixture for the kitchen.  We had a little party when we put that one in the trash.  We moved a fixture from the studio to the office and gave that fixture, which still worked just fine, to our neighbor to hang over his dining room table where it actually looks really nice. Finally, a few weeks ago, we found a really nice artsy fixture (on clearance!) for the entry way, and the last chain fixture was removed.  I'd show you a picture of the vile things, but they all went out with the trash immediately.

When you are a newish homeowner, friends tend to ask you often, "What house projects have you done recently?"  So Lisa has been crowing about replacing the old the light fixtures, which she describes as "shwag" fixtures.  I've been getting a great deal of amusement out of this, because I know she means "swag," and our friends always get a startled look when she says it.  And I didn't even know what it meant, exactly, just that it wasn't the right word.  Except it isn't really the wrong word, because those lights were lame and sucky.  So once again, my wife is smarter than I.

Comments

[The Feminist Mafia]

Oh yes, ugly light fixtures. I have a couple of those too (see one here: http://thewholeself.blogspot.com/2006/12/my-monday-five-words.html) and I can't wait to replace them. Congrats on your accomplishment!